The Tidal waves of soul searching.

My wounds are healing, my scars are less sore,

I feel like myself every day more and more.

The thrashing waves, and once violent sky,

are calm and peaceful as boats sail on by.

Yet in the blink of an eye the calm sea becomes rough,

The sails are less sturdy, the anchor less tough.

The storm returns with a vengeance; its wrath,

destroying all that lies in its path.

She prays and holds onto her body tight,

she protects it with courage and all of her might.

She reminds herself that she commands her own ship,

she takes back control, she tightens her grip.

The sun through the clouds slowly comes into sight,

The eagle soars as he reaches flight.

 

 

 

Who Am I? The Painful Journey Of Self Love and Acceptance

What is self love? It’s a feeling I lack,

After years of war and facing attack.

This feeling i’m immune to, its foreign and wrong,

This is a feeling for someone brave and strong.

To love oneself should be an unspoken rule,

Yet I have to teach myself how like a child at school.

I tell myself: I’m not perfect I am me and that’s ok,

I’m where I need to be, i’m going my own way.

No one else’s path matters, focus on your own direction,

looking at what others are doing wont bring me affection,

wont make love return; a resurrection.

 

One mind, one body, one spirit, one soul,

With love and acceptance as a guide, a goal.

But a dichotomy lies, a war of the mind,

One born out of hate, the other one kind.

Who wins the battle, who will reign?

Just an innocent by stander in this gnarly game.

Where do you turn, which route do you go?

When one voice cries sabotage yet the other screams no.

Will you wither and die or will you flourish and grow?

This answer is something you really don’t know.

All the while reaching out as this standoff commences,

a battle of two minds deep in the trenches.

Is there a way out will you make the right choice?

In the midst of the chaos can you find your own voice?

The one of love, of guidance not fear,

The one that reminds you softly ‘I am here’.

 

 

 

Love Is A Battle Field…

img_1840He pulls away you latch on more,
The unknown is painful your past wounds are sore.

Not knowing if you’re worthy or enough,
The sea is rocky the storm is tough.

In no mans land without a map,

Do you keep trudging forward or do you head back?

This intensity you feel deep down inside,
do you sit with it,embrace it or run for cover and hide?

Those deep brown eyes that see into my soul,
That warm embrace that makes me feel whole,

Am I holding onto a rose that can’t be revived?
Do I power through this storm hoping it will subside?

Is what he feels for me the same as what I feel for him?
Standing on the edge but too nervous to swim.
Hostile freezing waters what lies within?

Is it time to cut the anchor, to break away from the chain?
That is strangling and shackling, my strength I need to regain.

My inner power is screaming, desperate for release,
The sea ready to swallow me, ready for my decease.

Do I sink or swim, do I fight or fly?
Will my power save me or will my fear let me die?

But the moment I hear his voice that strength becomes weak,
In that second he opens his mouth to speak.

He holds my hands, looks into my heart, all my intentions, my promises break apart.

Navigating no mans land I continue to roam, trying to find my map to lead me home.

115986f56591d4dcfe04c9c6851867f9

Brief Encounters….

He came into my life like a shining light,

Illuminating the sky in the depths of night.

An angel so pure he flew into my sight,

Lit up the universe, with an energy bright.

A beautiful star that healed my core,

He soothed my wounds like no other before.

A gentle aura, the softest soul,

My broken heart was immediately whole.

His touch electrifying, fireworks when we kissed,

Gone yet never forgotten, but will always be missed.

His eyes the ocean, where I could swim and dive,

His skin the softest sand, making my body alive.

The perfect puzzle, our pieces fit together,

But perhaps nothing pure can last forever.

An enchanted forest, a mystical path,

Our adventure together, I’ll never look back.

A lonesome traveller, his time had arrived,

To take to his trail and leave my side.

An eagle he prepared to spread his wings,

To see whatever his future brings.

I stare at the sea wondering where he is now,

Or if our time together could have been different somehow,

They say its darkest before the dawn,

A dark thundery sky before a clear blue morn.

I think of him fondly, hope our paths cross one day,

And that cemented in my tapestry forever he’ll stay.

134334

SOUL SEARCHING… FINDING HOPE IN THE DARKNESS

When you’re afraid of the dark its hard to be brave,

Hard to see life when digging you’re own grave.

in the depths of darkness,fear and despair,

its hard to remind yourself that you are there.

She feels she’s the monster that everyone fears,

she’s the reason for everyone’s tears.

In order to make a change you have to want to try,

But how do you resuscitate a rose, that’s ┬ábeginning to die.

The map is torn into a million parts,

She has no clear direction, or path to start.

Yet creativity can thrive in the darkest of places,

Flowers survive in the muddiest spaces.

Deep in the earth a light shines bright,

hope is living no matter how slight.

In the flash of a second your perspective can change,

All your thoughts can rearrange.

The hole she was digging was not a grave after all,

she plants a new seed in the ground so her flower grows tall.